


The Definition Of Our Parameters

by seriousfic



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5517215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriousfic/pseuds/seriousfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t believe in threesomes before marriage,” Emma said firmly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Definition Of Our Parameters

“I don’t believe in threesomes before marriage,” Emma said firmly.  
  
Scott looked up from his book, looked around. The other X-Men were not staring. They were good at not staring. They were not staring very intently. A few students who had been watching the TV left the living room, Emma’s smile following them out.  
  
“Okay,” Scott said, raising his book back up to his face, then lowering it, so that it had a sort of bobbing motion where he wasn’t sure if the conversation was over or if Emma still had a point to make.   
  
“It’s not that I have anything against the idea, you understand.” Emma sat down in a plush chair across from him. “It’s just… why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?”  
  
“Did you just call yourself a cow?”  
  
“It’s a metaphor. This is why I don’t let you teach English Literature. That, and your inexplicable love of Walt Whitman.”  
  
“He’s a good writer!” Scott protested, clutching his copy of Memoranda During the War to his chest. “And if you wanted to plant a suggestion in my head, you _are_ a telepath. I don’t need a carrot dangled in front of my nose.”  
  
“Did you just call _ménage à trois_ a carrot?”  
  
“It’s a metaphor.”   
  
“Scott, I don’t need to get married either. I’m perfectly happy living in sin.”  
  
“Too easy,” Kitty said, flipping through a magazine.  
  
“I’m sorry, Katherine, but I don’t live for engaging you in banter. I would no more drop a straight line in your lap than I would use your vibrator and then put it back without washing it.”  
  
“If you’ll excuse me, I have a suicide to commit,” Kitty said as she left.  
  
Scott set his book down on his leg. “Look, Emma, I’m completely satisfied with you and our relationship. I don’t need to bring a third party in to complicate matters. Who would be interested in me, anyway?”  
  
Betsy cleared her throat.  
  
“Psylocke, I thought that was just the possession talking.”  
  
“It was, but I would like to find out what all the fuss is about.”  
  
Emma looked Betsy up and down. _Good philosophy. I might adopt that one._ Betsy sent telepathically.  
  
 _Don’t let it spread around too much or there’ll be no single people to have threesomes with. Telepathic sex?_  
  
 _I’ve never actually done it with a telepath. Should I really believe the hype?_  
  
 _Oh, believe it. And it’s great fun when Scott lets his id out to play. You wouldn’t believe the things the man represses…_  
  
“Hey, are you ladies thought-casting about my sex life?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Of course not.”  
  
Scott frowned as a thought came to him. “I mean, it’s not like there’s anyone you want to threesome with, right?”  
  
Emma glanced to the side.  
  
Emma nodded her head to the side.  
  
Emma emphatically jerked her thumb to the side.  
  
“Hell no,” Scott said as he walked out of the room.  
  
“You can’t help but feel a little offended,” Logan said.

**Author's Note:**

> Post-script
> 
> “Yes, Emma, I do think it’s fair that if I have a boy-girl-girl threesome, you get a girl-boy-boy threesome. However, can the third boy not be *my brother?*”
> 
> “What? Alex is cute.”
> 
> “*Brother!* You don’t see me asking for a threesome with your sister.”
> 
> “That’s because she’s dead. Unless that strikes your fancy. Which would explain a lot of your attraction to Jean…”


End file.
